doula – JRM Nurse Consultants

I think that this is a hard decision for any mother to make when she is told that her baby may not be viable. I can see several ethical things here that would make a decision difficult to make. First of all, there is the termination of the pregnancy recommended because the baby will not be viable at birth, and then there is the religious aspect. These are both ethical situations that can be very difficult for parents when they have to make a decision. Doctors make decisions based on the viability of a baby and feel that if the baby will not make it, the pregnancy should be terminated. In a Christian hospital, for example, these conversations may not happen, because they do not do terminations of pregnancy, so that suggestion would not be made. However, at a non-Christian hospital, that type of discussion may happen there frequently.

Each hospital should have an ethics team to explain the choices to the mother so that a mother that does not believe in termination is aware that she does have the right to keep the baby until he passes. Allowing the parents to use their own judgment in a case like this, provides for better healing as they cope with the impending loss. The termination of a pregnancy before its time is devastating to any parent. A parent’s religious beliefs in the Lord keep them holding on for a possible miracle and we should not interfere in their decision making. If the miracle does not happen, those parents will find the way to grieve the loss but at least they were offered a choice and will not have to worry that the choice was not given to them and they will not have to live with the “what ifs.” This would be their way of coping with the death of that child (Denisco & Barker, 2012).

References

Denisco, S. M., & Barker, A. M. (2012). 25. In Advanced practice nursing: Evolving rules for the transformation of the profession (2nd ed., pp. 547-567). Retrieved from https://campus.capella.edu/web/library/home

Rosie Moore, RN, DNP

Visit my Website to learn more www.rosiemoore27.com
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Do you ever wonder why people help a total stranger? Do you ask yourself why is it that some people have babies and some who want them cannot? It is sad when these circumstances of infertility happen and a couple feels that they do not have anywhere to turn. Rosie Moore founder of The Gift of Life a nonprofit that supports premature babies and nurse consultant for Windermere Baby and Family knows all too well the struggles that parents who cannot conceive face. Sometimes when the parents are able to conceive, the baby may be born prematurely or the baby is miscarried, these are the heart-wrenching stories that led Rosie to start helping intended parents find a surrogate to carry a baby for them. Miracles do indeed happen, all it takes is unconditional love.

A few weeks ago Becky Kammes, a doula in Wisconsin, shared her moving story about how she gave a couple the gift of a lifetime, the gift of birth!

Read Becky’s touching story as she shares her journey

“I have two children of my own and have been a gestational surrogate twice (working on a third journey currently). Surrogacy is my heart and soul, truly. My intended parents( IP’s) resided on the West Coast and I live in SW Wisconsin. My IPs were quite active during my prenatal appointments through FaceTime. When I turned 20 weeks, they traveled to WI for my 20-week appointment and ultrasound. When it was time for the baby to be delivered, they flew back for the glorious day, the birth of their baby. We had a doula present at the birth to support all of us during the birth process. My IP’s were elated with the idea, so my Doula and Hubby were a sensational birth duo for both of my IPs and myself. The experience went so well, that I am currently working on a sibling journey with them. They have since become our extended family and that makes my heart soar!

This was their first baby and they entrusted me with the entire pregnancy and birth; they continuously told me that I was “the birth baby professional” and they wanted me to be most at ease and comfortable. I reminded them that although I had birthed three babies prior, one of which is a surrogate delivery, THIS moment was THEIRS. This special time was THEIRS. I’m just along for the ride! Everything we discussed, every idea mentioned every suggestion made, was crucial to the process because we all had to agree on it. The five of us were a wonderful team! There was an insatiable cohesive bond that was built without really even trying-it was innate, as silly as that sounds.

Part of the doula’s job is to learn your client’s ‘love language’ as I call it and that was done, to a T! But also, our doula managed to learn my IPs love language in such a short amount of time and didn’t overstep any support boundary in the least bit. There was a strong, energetic bond and everyone, including our nurses and OB, respected that and we ALL conquered the birth as a rockstar unit!

I would love to one day Doula for a surrogate and her IPs. It’s such a profoundly intimate moment-in every aspect of the word and to offer my own experiences and insight to help a fellow surrogate and her family have an exceptional birth experience would be a CHERRY ON MY BIRTH SUNDAE!”

Thank you, Becky, for sharing such a special and personal experience with Windermere Baby and Family

Visit Windermere Baby and Family to learn more about becoming a surrogate and what it entails. We can walk you through the entire process of being someone’s miracle.

Years of experience in Work Comp, Case Management, Disease Management, Utilization Review and Prior Authorization.

Category Archives: doula

When a Pregnancy is not Viable

When You Love Unconditionally